We bought our baby for £500!

Having a family should be the most natural thing in the world, but becoming a parent isn’t always straightforward. Those struggling to conceive know only too well how the months, sometimes years, of disappointment waiting for that positive test can be enough to crush you. Often you’ll look for any way you can to make your dreams come true. And although my route to being a mum might have been a little unconventional, I only have to glance at baby Kian sleeping in my arms to know that he’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

I’ve always had strong maternal instincts but, while I knew I wanted children one day, I was focused on my career path to become a marketing director during my 20s. I met Andrew, then 24, in 2012 and we married in 2017 – first in Taiwan where I had relatives, followed by another ceremony with his family in Toronto. We’d discussed having kids from the beginning of our relationship and knew they would be a part of our future.

So, in early 2020, doing well in our careers, the timing felt right for us to start trying to become a family. I imagined a new little life in our home, Andrew pushing a pram around the park and us proudly taking our baby to visit our families.

But as the months passed and I still wasn’t seeing those two lines appearing on my pregnancy tests, I felt increasingly anxious. ‘It usually takes about six months,’ my friends reassured me. But those six months came and went, and I couldn’t help but think something was wrong.

I didn’t understand -
I was taking a pregnancy supplement to try and improve my chances, and tracking my ovulation. But every time I’d take a pregnancy test into the bathroom, holding my breath in anticipation, I’d be let down once again.

One year into trying, I wondered if I’d ever be a mum. ‘What if I’m infertile?’ I panicked to Andrew. ‘Don’t be silly,’ he said. ‘We’ll be parents eventually.’ But I knew it wasn’t just me – he was worried too. It didn’t matter how much our friends tried to reassure us, even when some of them, too, had found it difficult to conceive. Hearing that they had taken years to conceive made me worried that my struggles were only just beginning. It had been a year of disappointment, and I wasn’t sure if I could take any more.

DOING MY RESEARCH

I was anxious about hereditary problems, too