Fiona* has been with her husband for 18 years, but their intimacy leaves a lot to be desired…
WORDS: NATASHA HARDING. *ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. PHOTO (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY
Yawning, I make my way upstairs to bed, ready for an early night. ‘Night then,’ I say to Charlie* when I bump into him on the landing. ‘Oh, night,’ he replies, glancing up from his phone. He heads off to his bedroom while I go to mine. You’re probably thinking Charlie is my son, but he is, in fact, my partner of 18 years, and we have been sleeping separately for most of that time.
I met Charlie in a nightclub in 2005 when I was 26 and he was 30, and was immediately attracted to him. He’s tall, muscular, with dirty blond hair and brown eyes – a winning combination.
Our first date at a local bar was great, the only downside was our goodnight kiss – it was horrible and awkward and it felt as though it was something that Charlie thought he should do, rather than what he actually wanted to do. But I put it down to first-kiss nerves and focused on the positives.
The next couple of months were a whirlwind of dates and we went to football matches, horse racing, exclusive restaurants, spa days, city breaks and trips to the seaside. Looking back now, I was so caught up with all the things he had planned that I didn’t notice he didn’t seem interested in sex.
Initially, I thought he was being respectful, but by our fifth date without him making any kind of move, apart from several more chaste goodnight kisses, I took matters into my own hands and suggested to Charlie that he come over to my flat for dinner.
MAKING EXCUSES
He turned up with wine and flowers and laughed at my pretty dire cooking skills. Then, I turned to him and suggested he stay the night. ‘It will be fun,’ I winked. Suddenly he seemed awkward. Still, we had sex for the first time, and although it was OK, it felt as though Charlie was just going through the motions.
We continued seeing each other and things went from strength to strength. However, it was always me who instigated sex. I tried to talk to him about it, but he brushed me off and made excuses about being tired or stressed. He worked in finance, which meant he earned a lot of money, but with that came huge pressure.
He was affectionate when we were out and about, holding my hand and cuddling me. Although, one day I did ask him outright if he found me attractive and he assured me that he did.
Then, a year into our relationship, I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I’d been having some health problems and as I was having sex so rarely, I’d become
