One woman tells us why partner swapping has left her and her husband’s marriage on the brink
WORDS: GEORGINA FULLER © TELEGRAPH MEDIA GROUP LIMITED. PHOTO (MAIN POSED BY MODELS): GETTY. *ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
As I looked around at the four strangers’ faces in the hot tub, I felt a frisson of anticipation and a sense of excitement – something I hadn’t felt for a long time. ‘Is this your first time?’ the man to my left asked. ‘Yes,’ I said, laughing nervously. ‘Welcome!’ his partner said, smiling warmly.
My husband, Jake*, and I were at a festival for couples in the north east. He wasn’t that keen to come, but I managed to persuade him. ‘Come on, it might be fun,’ I had said. ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’
I have always been a bit more adventurous than him, but after 18 years and two children together, we don’t have much adventure in our lives these days.
I can’t remember where I first heard about this festival for ‘ethically non-monogamous’ (a relationship between two people which isn’t exclusive) and polyamorous (a relationship involving a number of sexual partners) couples. It might have come up on a Facebook ad. But the second I saw it, I knew I wanted to go.
LACK OF EXCITEMENT
It’s not that I no longer fancy my husband; it’s more that everything, including our sex life, has become so routine-driven and predictable, I wanted to do something to spice things up a bit. I work full time at a finance company in the City and Jake, who is self-employed, is currently a stay-at-home dad. We’ve managed to pay off most of our mortgage and our kids are getting a bit older and don’t take quite as much time and energy as they did when they were little. I suppose we’re at that ‘Is this it? What’s next?’ stage of life.
We weren’t sure what to expect before we got to the festival. We were both nervous beforehand. I was a bit worried it might be full of weirdos in gimp masks and PVC, or creepy old blokes, but lots of the people there were much like us. Fortysomething, 2.4 children, professionals and so on. We were pleasantly surprised.
We really connected with one couple – let’s call them Ed* and Laura*. They were a similar age to us and they also live near London and have children around the same age, too. They were the type of people we would probably be friends with anyway.
Ed clearly worked out and looked after himself. I also go to the gym several days a week and feel better
