Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 32 years
Why can’t I stop people pleasing?
Q I’m 55 years old and have been a people pleaser all my life. I have two grown daughters who always want me to babysit or help out in some way and an ex-husband who left me for someone else but constantly calls me when he’s down. None of them are there for me when I feel low and they don’t seem to care that I am often exhausted.
A Constantly trying to please everyone is emotionally draining and, at the age of 55, it’s time to identify your own needs and boundaries. It’s more than OK to say no to your daughters and set limits with your ex-partner. Building healthy relationships involves a balance between giving and receiving. Having a more balanced approach will not only improve your wellbeing, but your connections to others as well.
THEY LOVE HIS EX
Q My partner was married for 25 years and, even though he’s divorced, his parents still love his ex. I’ve only recently met them, although we’ve been together for a year, and I was hoping we’d hit it off, but they weren’t very welcoming. I can’t help feeling hurt by this. What do I do?
A I can see why you want to be welcomed into the heart of your boyfriend’s family, but it sounds like they are not ready for that. Try not to take their reluctance as a personal insult, instead give them space. Your relationship is thriving, and they
