Cancer brought us together

I could tell by the look on the doctor’s face that it wasn’t good news. And as I sat on the uncomfortable plastic chair in his office, the word cancer seemed to echo around us. It was August 2022 and after feeling a difference in my left breast, a thickening of the tissue and a strange sparking sensation, I’d decided to get checked. A relative had recently found a cyst too, so it was on my mind to get tested. Now a biopsy had revealed I had cancer in my left breast. Prior to my appointment, perhaps naively, I’d assumed everything was fine. After all, I was only 38, and a mum to Kit, then four, and Rudy, two. I couldn’t have cancer. I just couldn’t. But now, the words had left the doctor’s mouth and there was no taking them back. I had cancer and, as terrified as I was, I knew I had to fight this for my family.

Back at home, while the kids played upstairs, I started to tell my husband Matt, then 43, but before the words were out of my mouth my body was shaking with sobs.

INVALUABLE SUPPORT

Matt was great and told me we’d get through this together, and my family, who I phoned to tell the biopsy results, were wonderful too, but nobody really understood how I was feeling – the fear, the anxiety, the determination to be strong but also wanting to scream at the unfairness of it all. But I knew someone who would understand.

My neighbour Keri across the road had been diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2020. She was open about it and did lots of fundraising, and I’d often wondered how she was so positive. We were close in age and both had two children. But other than exchanging a few pleasantries, Keri and I didn’t really know each other. Yet, I knew talking to her would bring me some comfort and help me feel less alone.

So, I sent her a text message. ‘I’ve had some bad news and would love to talk,’ I wrote, telling her about the tests. Minutes later, Keri was on my doorstep, warmly wrapping her arms around me. ‘I’m sorry. Nothing will be the same again, but this is the tough bit because you’re still in shock. You never think it’s going to happen to you,’ she said.

Even though we didn’t know each other well, her words were what I needed to hear. So a few days later, when doctors confirmed the diagnosis of lobular breast cancer, which doesn’t usually