Our columnist has her say on photo editing, domestic discord and careers
CAN WOMEN HAVE IT ALL?
Lily Allen isn’t so sure about it – and I have to agree with her
I love women to bits. But did you know that there’s one big, fat juicy lie we’ve told ourselves for decades, possibly centuries? A lie we continue to tell our daughters and granddaughters to this day. It’s that we can have it all. We can’t.
We may well be supreme multitaskers but we’re also Jackies of all trades, masters of none. Pop singer turned actor Lily Allen nailed it recently. ‘I love my children, but they ruined my career,’ she said, adding, ‘I get really annoyed when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can’t.’
They’re brave words from a privileged, wealthy woman in the public eye who has been successful in music and acting. And if she’s struggled, just imagine the rest of us bogged down in ordinary jobs, juggling kids, grandkids, ageing parents and men (absent or otherwise).
Yes, we can DO it all. Of course, we can. We must. We can juggle more balls than a conference of clowns in a kiddie’s ball pond. But that’s not the same as HAVING it all, is it?
Keeping all those plates spinning means that we’re not giving our whole to anyone or anything. And, being the female of the species, that leads to an enormous amount of guilt.
I never wanted children, but being a journalist and editor of a national newspaper meant that it would have been impossible to raise a family. I was mostly never there for the husband, mum or sister.
And that tortures me to this day. So, trying to do the most important job of turning babies into fully functioning young people and adults would have been impossible.
I would never have been able to give it the time and dedication that it needed.
Even high-powered career women who are lucky enough to employ full-time nannies, cleaners and chauffeurs don’t ‘have it all’. But they do have plenty of guilt.
Raising a child is the most important job any adult can do. And balancing that with a career means that neither get your 100% attention. This doesn’t mean we stop trying, of course. It’s incredibly important that we encourage younger females (and ourselves!) to get out there and be the equals (and some would say betters, though I couldn’t possibly comment) of men.
But we must be honest with ourselves. Lily, who has two daughters, Ethel Mary, 12, and Marnie Rose, 11, caused a storm with her comment
