Real life
Three women share insights into what makes their relationships happy
‘I’ve always felt safest with Steven’
Madeleine Black, 58, author, professional speaker, podcaster and psychotherapist, lives in Glasgow with her husband Steven, 61. They have three daughters, Anna, 30, Mimi, 27, and Leila, 22.
We’ve been together for 40 years and support each other on our journey. We laugh a lot, have fun together, enjoy similar hobbies and have similar values regarding family and life. We also have our own interests and don’t often argue, although when we do it shifts something between us and brings us closer together.
I was 17 when we met abroad. It was at a time when I had a very low opinion of myself. I was gang-raped at 13, and I look back at meeting Steven and believe he was an angel sent to save me, as I was on a path of self-destruction.
‘I don’t know where I’d be now if I hadn’t met him. My life would certainly be very different,’ I tell my friends.
I was wary of men back then, but I had this gut feeling that I would be safe with Steven, that I could trust him, and I’m glad I listened to it.
We spent six weeks together and were inseparable but when we came back to the UK I wasn’t sure what would happen, as I lived in London and he lived in Glasgow. This was before cheap flights and mobile phones, so we saw each other every other weekend.
It was make or break for our relationship. We had so little time, but being together was always lovely and that made a big difference. The distance created a great foundation for our relationship. Steven moved to London, and we married five years after meeting.
Following the birth of our first daughter, we moved to Glasgow.
It’s all about balance and harmony; we have lots of common interests, we like to travel, socialise and play sports together, but we also have our own time and friends.
I have been very lucky finding Steven; I had to heal from my past and I wrote about my experience in my memoir, Unbroken. Through it all, Steven has been the most supportive partner.
‘We’ve been each other’s biggest support’
Janet Sample, 71, a retired secretary, lives in Gateshead with her husband Ralph, 77.
We have a lot of things in common, and have both overcome adversity through our lives. I was born blind due to prematurity, and Ralph’s vision gradually deteriorated due to retinitis pigmentosa. He was registered blind in 1977 and we met shortly after that.
We were friends for 35 years before we got married in 2013. I was working as a secretary in social services when Ralph, who had a wife and two small children, came in seeking
