It’s a funny old world
THIS WEEK’S COLUMNIST Writer Gabrielle Mullarkey
I read recently that an adult who dislikes people borrowing their stuff is probably an only child, because those of us raised with siblings tend to be more ‘relaxed’ about it. It’s one of those old chestnuts that ripens over time, along with, ‘My grandad smoked 50 Woodbines a day and it never did him any harm.’
‘I thought he died at 40.’ ‘Yes, but he fell off a ladder.’ So it’s probably time to debunk the ‘relaxed about borrowing’ myth.
For starters, I refuse to accept that possessives scribbling ‘hands off!’ on yogurts or locking the office stapler in an uncrackable safe every night were all raised as begrudging only kids. I grew up with several light-fingered siblings and therefore have the vigilance of a caffeinated meerkat. Not that I was blameless myself – we’ll get to that.
Fast-forward to leaving home and sharing student digs. I might turn up at a lecture and spot a housemate wearing my favourite jumper while taking notes with my favourite pen, thinking they could pilfer with impunity. That would leave me with two choices: wear all my jumpers at once or TWOC (take without owner’s consent) in revenge – then come over all innocent and claim I didn’t think they’d mind.
The art of generosity is supposedly drummed into us as toddlers. Your mum might say, ‘You’ve had enough goes on the slide, let someone else have a turn.’ But sharing what’s in communal use is not the same as pretending that another’s personal swag is up for grabs.
Back to my siblings. I grew up sharing a bedroom (and nothing else!) with my sister, each of us allocated half the dressing table, wardrobe and chest of drawers for our personal swag. Anything that strayed into enemy territory became spoils of war, which you factored in accordingly when chucking things during a row.
Once we got Saturday jobs we bought yet more stuff, making mutual encroachment inevitable. She once threw out her toenail clip
