Care work
If you think of self-care as a long, hot soak (with or without the cold glass of pinot), we have important news. Utilised effectively, self-care can add another layer of meaning to your life. We’ve got a plan – along with some very persuasive stories – to get you there
The term ‘self-care’ is having a moment – but is it the right one? When it’s not being sold to us in the form of candles or fuzzy pyjamas, self-care is taking over your Instagram feed. It’s become something of an excuse for our every indulgence. Happy hour after an awful day at work? That’s self-care. Brunch, followed by a Euphoria-inspired mani? Self-care, baby! Splurging on a luxurious tropical holiday after the hell we’ve been through over these past two years? Self. Hyphen. Care.
But how much we seem to be focusing on self-care online doesn’t actually align with reality. More than half of women (54%) said their mental health is suffering from jobrelated burnout in one recent survey; burnout we don’t appear to be managing all that well. And in a YouGov poll, one in five Britons who drink alcohol said they’re drinking more than they were before the pandemic began.
Stats like these raise a question: if the ‘treat yourself ’ approach to self-care is working, why are we still so frazzled and worn down? Well, according to experts, we’re all somewhat missing the point. ‘Self-care is really about taking time to understand your true needs beyond your impulses,’ says Chloe Carmichael, a New York-based therapist and author of Nervous Energy: Harness The Power Of Your Anxiety. ‘It’s about looking at yourself on a deeper level.’ It’s not that a holiday or a happy hour aren’t worthy forms of self-care. Sometimes ‘treating yourself ’ is what’s needed, says Dr Carmichael. But if that’s all you’re doing, you’re missing out on the true benefits. Read on for a step-by-step lesson in strengthening your relationship to caring for yourself.
STEP 1 Define what selfcare means to you
For starters, there isn’t one single definition of the term. It’s an evolving concept that’s constantly updated, for better or for worse.
‘Self-care’ as a cultural phenomenon was introduced by feminist author Audre Lorde in her 1988 essay collection, A Burst Of Light, says Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo, assistant professor at Northwell Health in New York. ‘For her, a Black, queer woman, self-care was about self-preservation. It was about being able to see your identity outside of the white gaze and come back to yourself. It wasn’t some
