As a buzzword, ‘authentic’ has infiltrated everything from Instagram to parenting. Now, sexual authenticity is coming to the bedroom. Has faking it had its big finish?
For a word that claims, by definition, to be centred on the genuine, ‘authentic’ has an uncanny ability to trigger a sceptical eye-roll. Perhaps it’s the buzzword’s comical overuse in suspiciously inauthentic situations (see: influencers baring their souls next to a stealth #ad). Then there’s the preach factor; authenticity pushed as the sure-fire way to raise emotionally robust kids (authentic parenting), get ahead at work (bringing your full self to the workplace) and create impact on social media (photo-sharing app BeReal prohibits edits). Showing up in places prone to glossing over the truth, authenticity is now talked about in the one remaining arena known for fakes: the bedroom. The goal? To induce an eye-roll of a different kind.
False start
If having to authenticate your sex life sounds like yet another buzzword-turned-buzzkill, know that it was studies of sexless relationships that led to its discovery. Two decades ago, Jaiya Ma, who you’ll know if you devoured Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop, was beginning her career as a somatic sexologist when she noticed patterns in couples struggling with desire. Getting turned on, it struck her, was far more individual than she expected. Graphic sexy talk drove one person crazy, but made someone else cringe; one person’s definition of getting physical meant ‘genitals’, while another wanted touch anywhere but the bits. Despite ingrained cultural messaging that sex is a one-size-fits-all act, their sexual responses were more in line with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator – that is to say, when presented with a potential turnon, each individual would land somewhere on a scale of ‘hell yes’ to pretending that they were on their period.
Over the following years, Ma analysed clinical and client data to build a framework of five sexual personality types, called Erotic Blueprints, to help people better understand their sexual nature, dividing it into: Sensual (turned on by taste, smell or setting), Energetic (craves anticipation), Sexual (aroused by nudity and penetration), Kinky (enjoys power or sensation-play) or Shapeshifter (all of the above).
Today, more than 700,000 people have taken the Erotic Blueprint test (available at missjaiya.com, if you’re so inclined) to find out who they really are sexually – or, in other words, their sexual authenticity.
If you’re surprised by the uptake, Ian Ferguson, who co-created the Erotic Blueprint methodology with Ma, believes that most people grapple with the discord between what you think sex should look like (conditioned via unrealistic film scenes or porn, say) and what the voice in your head is telling you could feel good. ‘Most people are
