Speaking my mind
Nicola Merchant spent months searching for a treatment for her debilitating menopause symptoms. Having finally found a solution in HRT, the nationwide shortage means she’s running out – and the emotional impact is devastating
I first went to the doctor in February 2020 after I started to experience irregular bleeding. I had STI tests, a hysteroscopy and even a coil fitted to try to stop it. I was 42, and no one thought to mention the menopause. and Wiltshire The condition didn’t even come up when, in 2021, a consultant tried prescribing me Oestrogel – agel-based hormonereplacement therapy containing oestrogen – for the bleeding.
Looking back, I can’t believe I didn’t realise what was happening. My mum had an early menopause, and had I connected the dots sooner, I could have saved myself months of anguish. It was only after my coil fell out a few months later that my GP suggested I could be menopausal. But while she referred me to some online resources, I felt none the wiser.
Meanwhile, my recommended ‘one pump a day’ of Oestrogel wasn’t working, and I felt increasingly out of control. A mental haze set in that left me incapable of seeing anything through. Set against the backdrop of the pandemic, a new and challenging job in education and a family bereavement, these thoughts left me feeling overwhelmed, as though a panic attack might bubble up inside me at any given moment.
I spent most of my energy trying not to cry, and my husband felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells around me. The rage was similar. Normally, I’d only get angry with due cause, but this was different – Ifelt overwhelmed by an uncontrollable anger that, at times, scared me.
I knew I had to do something, anything, to feel better. After doing some research, I thought testosterone might help – but getting hold of it was another matter. My NHS GP couldn’t offer it; it could only be prescribed by a specialist via the NHS menopause clinic – aclinic with a 12-month waiting list. By this point, my brain fog was so bad I was concerned I might lose my job, so I paid to see a GP privately – justifying the expense to myself as an investment in my career. Using a combination of Oestrogel and Androfeme, a testosterone cream, was a game changer. Within weeks, I was no longer experiencing episodes of unexplained crying. The rage dissipated, the fog that filled my brain lifted and I began to feel like my old self again. And while I made lifestyle changes, too – incorporating more plants into my diet, supplementing my low iron levels, doing CrossFit, running regularly and using acupuncture – it was HRT that made the biggest difference to my em
