ROUTE TO WELLTH
The comedian and author, whose latest show explores women and success, opens up about becoming a mum at 40 and why she’s telling a positive IVF story
STATS AGE: 41
JOB: Comedian
WORKOUT MO: PT + running
WIND-DOWN SECRET: Yoga
Know
What bothered me in my thirties was not knowing if I was going to have kids. My worry was: my life is really great now, but I don’t want to regret [not being a mum] when I’m 50. It was like making a hypothetical decision based on a sadness I hadn’t felt yet. The way society ties women’s success to marriage and babies weighed heavily on me; I think women are complicit in reinforcing it.
Try
After I met my husband in my late thirties, we tried to conceive but it wasn’t happening. It was tough; made more so by those around me who seemingly got pregnant easily. When I see my stand-up from that time, my defensiveness about others having kids is cringey. I feared honesty would make people feel sorry for me – not ideal for a comedian.
Share
I had my son, now one, through IVF – following a miscarriage. This means I’ll always understand what it’s like to be ‘infertile’; I still see a therapist who specialises in baby loss. In my show, I’m determined to normalise IVF and share a positive story that’s like, ‘It’s a privilege that science can help us this much.’ But through grumpiness and jokes rather than uber-sincerity.
Move
Before I had my son, lacing up and going for a run felt like an obligation. And during IVF and pregnancy I avoided it in case something went wrong. But now I put on cheesy disco music and that alone time feels like a treat. When I went back to exercise, my abdominal muscles felt loose and disconnected, so I see a PT twice a week to help knit them together
