It may surprise you to hear that Women’s Health readers are more likely than the average UK woman to be open to a non-monogamous relationship. Add this to research indicating that non-traditional romantic set-ups may confer health benefits and, well, it’s time for a closer look
Lydia’s thumb navigates to the Instagram logo on her smartphone screen. Anticipation burns in her brain’s pleasure centres on clocking the red speck in the app’s top right-hand corner. It’s a new DM from a woman she’s been back-and-forthing with for a few weeks: would Lydia like to go on a date? Before firing off a ‘yes’, the 29-year-old lets her partner, sitting next to her on the sofa, know. Their reply is nonchalant. ‘Let me know how it goes. Oh, and remind me what her name is again?’ The two women, who’ve been together for a year and a half, share a love that’s heartfelt and committed. They are also in an open relationship, meaning they grant one another permission to surf the sparks they discover in the wild, to go the way their blood beats and, yes, sleep with other people. Lydia, who is based in Edinburgh and runs an events company, was used to monogamous pairings, until two years ago when she experienced a senseof-self shattering breakdown, which, via much therapy, gave way to a breakthrough. In reconfiguring her life, she realised she craved romantic realignment, too, and began researching different kinds of relationship structures. ‘I am very sexually open and I wanted to give myself more opportunities to see what I really like.’
After a year or so of feeling her way, she met her current partner, Sara*. The intensity of their mutual feelings soon became clear and when they decided they wanted to pursue a relationship, they discussed their ideal-world pairing. ‘We wrote down what our perfect relationship looks like and we made it happen, without the societal pressure of what “normal” is,’ she tells WH. The result: an exclusive romantic relationship with her partner, where each half is free to go on dates and have sex with others, provided this doesn’t turn into anything more than a friends with benefits-style arrangement. (It’s what means their situation is defined as an open relationship, as opposed to a polyamorous one, with multiple romantic partners.) ‘Honestly, it’s the happiest – and healthiest – relationship I’ve ever been in.’
We invite you to check in with yourself here – how did Lydia’s story make you feel? You might physically recoil at the prospect of knowingly sharing your partner’s body with another. Anyone with dating app experience in their recent history may eye-roll as they call to mind profiles of 38-year-old men using non-monogamy as a cloak for commitment issues. But if the tale a
