A SHOW OF SUPPORT
Gareth Southgate talks to Kathryn Armstrong about his hands-on role at Martin House Children’s Hospice and the families who inspire him, as an appeal is launched to future-proof the service
Gareth Southgate is known for his authenticity as a football manager, for being one of the good guys in sport and undoubtedly a role model.
That his very famous face is not unfamiliar inside of Martin House Children’s Hospice in Boston Spa speaks volumes about that authenticity and a largely unseen commitment to this charity for children and young people.
The England team manager is more than a figurehead supporter – as an ambassador for Martin House, his name at a fund-raising event does of course put bums on seats and hands in pockets to support the cause.
It’s perhaps more surprising to learn that he sits in on counselling sessions with bereaved families, hears their stories and becomes genuine friends with those parents on the worst possible of journeys – the loss of a child.
‘We visited Martin House one Christmas, probably seven years ago,’ recalls Gareth, who lives in Harrogate with his wife, Alison, daughter, Mia, and son, Flynn.
Alison was involved in the fund-raising Glitter Ball for the hospice.
‘I started to talk more to the families that were here – I had it in my mind that I wanted to do something here because it’s local, we’re dealing with children and families – and you always leave here thinking “that could have been us”. I’ve gained a better understanding of what goes on here.’
This is through meetings with bereaved parents like Julie and Lee Walker, whose daughter, Holly, was looked after at Martin House for many years of her life and who died in the hospice aged 24.
Gareth met the couple when they were leaving the hospice after saying a final goodbye to their daughter. They had been there with Holly and her siblings when she died and had been able to stay at the hospice with her for a further week.
‘Meeting Julie and Lee the day I did – you can’t help but be affected by that – but they left here in such a good place with their other children.
‘I’ve visited the counselling sessions and spoken to parents who had been through sessions after they had lost their little ones and that also has an enormous impact on me; they were coming out with pictures to show me, they wanted to talk about their children, which was an amazing experience.
‘The work that happens here – I can’t speak highly enough of it, the people, their passion for it, but also the specialism they have in dealing with palliative care. People find peace, calm, but also lots of laughter.
‘At first it is quite difficult to know what to say to people, but you talk about family things – normal things as much as you can. When you talk to families who have bee
