news report
Following a bereavement, it can be hard to know how to find happiness again, but there are options you can explore that may lead you to a new romance
When Nicky Wake’s husband of 16 years, Andy, passed away, she made the daunting decision to delve back into dating. Struggling to find men who understood her situation through regular dating sites, Nicky (then 49) knew she had to do something.
Roping in contacts as well as an investor from her bereavement support group, Nicky launched her own online dating app, Chapter 2, exclusively for widows and widowers.
“Andy is the love of my life, and his death hit me like a sledgehammer,” Nicky, from Rawtenstall, Lancashire, says. “I felt emptiness consume me and wished I could feel that sense of love again. I knew Andy would want me to be happy, but I found the dating sites horrendous and thought there had to be a better way. Creating Chapter 2 has given me hope that fellow widowers can find joy again, which has helped me make sense of my own loss.”
The dilemma of whether to date after losing your spouse isn’t uncommon. Shortly before her death from cancer in April 2021, actress Helen McCrory urged husband Damian Lewis, then 50, to “find love again”, and the actor is currently in a relationship with singer Alison Mosshart.
Bereavement support charity WAY Widowed and Young has more than 4,600 members – its chief executive Stephanie Patrick says, “There is no right or wrong. Those who do date again will inevitably face some guilt, practical challenges and emotional highs and lows.”
Caroline Abrahams, Charity Director at Age UK, says, “The experience of loss is one of the penalties if we are lucky enough to live a long time. Everyone is different and, while some will feel they don’t want to enter another relationship of similar intensity and intimacy again, others will be willing to embrace this as a possibility when the time feels right.”
This was true for Jan, 76, and Alex, 78, who found love again after both losing their partners. They met at a McCarthy Stone retirement home and gradually got to know each other at the weekly coffee morning, before Alex asked Jan out. Jan says, “I didn’t anticipate getting into another relationship, but over time our companionship moved to love. My advice to anyone looking to find love in later life is to take a chance, Alex and I are proof it’s not too late!”
For Nicky (now 51), the thought of finding love again was inconceivable. She first met Andy on a dating website in 2002. “Andy made me laugh and, after our first date, we were inseparable,” she recalls. “I knew I was going to marry him one
