From the very beginning, I’d always had an unconventional life.
Born in Middlesex in 1945, I was adopted by my grandparents and grew up believing they were my parents.
The girl I grew up with, Rachael, I believed to be my sister. It wasn’t until I was 12 that someone told me she was actually my mother!
I never knew my dad, and Rachael, or Ray Ray as we called her, never spoke about him.
“What can you tell me about dad?” I’d ask. But she always changed the subject.
Then one day I found a letter from Until one day in mum that revealed my dad’s name.
“He’s called Clyde Shaws and he’s American,” I gasped.
Even though there wasn’t much more information, or even a photo, knowing his name was a start.
Over the years, I often wondered what happened between him and mum, but I daren’t ask.
I put it at the back of my mind and eventually started my own family.
At 21, I met and married my husband Ray. Together, we had four children, Darren (56), Grant (54), Glen (45), and Gemma (44).
Over the years, I told them about my elusive father and they were keen to find out more.
“All I really want is a photo of him,” I’d tell them.
Darren and my best friend Gilly both tried throughout the years, but with no internet they had no luck.
In 2012 Gemma tried to find Clyde online but her search yielded a dead end.
Pam Styles (79) had spent her life searching for her dad’s side of the family –until one letter changed it all…
2015, she rang me with news that changed my life. ‘Mum, you won’t believe this,’ she exclaimed.
“What is it love?” I asked. “Me and Neil (her husband) have found your dad!” she replied.
I felt my heart stop.
“Are you sure?” I replied. “I thought I’d have another go trying to find him and Neil had the brilliant idea to change his surname from ‘Shaws’ to ‘Shores’, and there he was on a war memorial website,” she said.
I felt myself choke up.
“My goodness. After all of these years,” I quietly said.
“He’s from Georgia, and all the dates line up. There’s a photo of him too and he looks just like you. I’ll send it to you.” she said.
Gemma messaged me the photo that showed him in his later years and I couldn’t believe it.
“Wow. I feel a connection right away, just looking at him,” I said, stunned. I finally had the photo I’d longed for.
“Unfortunately, I did some more research and found his obituary. Clyde passed away in 2011,” Gemma added.
