How the loss of a parent can affect us all in different ways
@CliffJoannou
Whether it’s the result of meticulous planning, serendipitous synchronicity or just good old meaningful coincidence, our two lead interviews in this issue spotlight a subject that people don’t like to talk about too much: the death of a parent, and the impact it has on our lives.
As LGBTQ+ people, we can have complicated relationships with our mothers and fathers. It might be that your coming out was mostly you waiting for your parents to find their own peace with your differing sexuality. Perhaps you’re largely estranged from them, apart from an annual birthday or Christmas card. You may not speak at all, which is unfortunate, but sometimes for the best to protect your mental wellbeing from the people who are supposed to put you first. Or you may be in the lucky category, where life really is all rainbows shining, unicorns prancing and wholehearted acceptance by your parental figures.
Whether we like it or not, for better or worse, our parents can be a welcome part of — or leave a devastating hole in — our lives. As such, their passing can throw us into a maelstrom of emotions that upend our stability. Grief is a peculiar beast that hangs around long after we think it has gone. Almost two decades since my own father died, I’ve learnt that you don’t miss them any less, you just perhaps think about them being gone less often. I guess I was one of the lucky ones to have a great role model in my father, even if I never had the chance to come out to him. (Although he definitely knew… though my mum might attest otherwise.)
In the hit Channel 4 series Big Boys, which returns with its second season in January, writer Jack Rooke has created a world loosely based on his own life experiences. Its lead character Jack (played by Derry Girls’ Dylan Llewellyn) is dealing with the death of his much-loved father while trying to find his feet at university and making that awkward journey of discovering his grown-up gay life — poppers and douching included.
At uni, Jack has met an unexpected anchor in Danny ( Jon Pointing), and the pair find they have more to offer each other than just being roommates thrown together by circumstance. As our writer Alastair James — who recently experienced a personal loss in the passing of his grandfather — discovered when he interviewed Dylan, Jon and Jack for our cover story, the hilarious comedic moments are underscored by a tenderness and heartfelt brotherly love between the characters that
