I suppose it’s not meant for us. The BMW XM was reviewed last month (Autocar, 22 March) by my colleague Richard Lane, who tells me that more than half of these 2710kg, 644bhp plug-in hybrid M cars will find their homes in the US and China, with the Middle East accounting for another sizeable portion of sales.
Lane concluded that “M can do better”. Well, I don’t know about better, but they’ve certainly done something. The upcoming Label Red variant of the XM (Red Label being a Bentley thing) will become BMW’s most powerful road car yet, with 738bhp and 738lb ft. Production will be limited to 500 units, with satin black paint and some noticeable red highlights, and it will cost £170,860.
I mean, like, y’know, fine, whatever. I won’t judge a car I haven’t driven, but this seems like it wasn’t created for the roads around my way, or for European car enthusiasts in general.
Except that isn’t there something familiar about that black paint with red trim? Something that says either 1960s TV Batmobile or perhaps has a distinct whiff of 1980s A-Team van? Particularly in side profile?
And now you’re talking. Give me a 2.7-tonne SUV on 23in wheels that doesn’t go off road and costs the best part of two hundred grand and I’m afraid you’re losing my interest.
But give me a moody black wagon with a big red stripe down the side and I’ll be enthusiastically saying ‘I pity the fool!’ and smiling every time I walk up to it.
In the 1980s, the only reason the A-Team’s GMC Vandura wasn’t my favourite vehicle in the world is because the Dukes of Hazzard’s Dodge Charger and The Fall Guy’s GMC K2500 Sierra (with lift kit) sat ahead of it in my affections. But since making the childhood TV connection with the XM Label Red, I don’t feel nearly so ambivalent about it.
This could catch on. Now, I’m not going to drive an orange car with the doors welded shut and a Confederate flag on the roof any time soon. But let’s talk pick-ups for a moment. Most modern ones are exceptionally useful tools but sufficiently uninvolving that I bought an old
