best for REAL LIFE
As Mother’s Day approaches, Andrew Power, 51, explains why writing poems and being with his children is helping to heal the devastating loss of his wife, Barbara…
‘Mum collapsed,’ my daughter, Emily, then 818 said, sounding scared. ‘She’s not breathing. An ambulance is on the way.’
Everything changed in that one moment. Oddly, I can remember the weather. It was a mild day, 13 October, 2022, around 8.30am in the morning, and I’d already left for work when my mobile rang.
Ironically, I was due to start work on repairs at a doctor’s surgery but I jumped back into the car. The phone rang again. Barbara, my wife, was being taken to the Lister Hospital in Stevenage, Hertfordshire.
When I arrived, I ran through the doors - but she wasn’t in A&E.
When I explained I was Andrew Power, a nurse said: ‘Your kids are in the family room…’
No one caught my eye. If I’m honest, I think I knew then but I still clung to the hope that everything was going to be OK… Then I saw the police – and I could tell by one of their faces, it was bad.
‘I’m sorry,’ a nurse with tissues began. ‘Barbara has had a suspected heart attack. We did what we could…’
I went from a husband to a widower in an instant… yet in that moment, my only thought was to protect my kids. I didn’t cry.
All I kept thinking was, how can that be? She’s 46. Shock does funny things to you…
Practicalities kicked in. I rang the school where she taught and let the headmaster know why she hadn’t arrived. Unfortunately, by the time we got home, the news of her death was all over social media. The school had announced her passing in assembly, which devastated my kids.
I frantically began to make calls – trying to reach people before the web did. I even put a message on social media confirming it – while Austin, then 12, Erika, 14, Emily, and Elizabeth, 22, cried. It was horrendous sorting the funeral, getting a death certificate (her heart gave up), deciding she should be cremated… But on the day, hundreds of people came.
Erika insisted on speaking about her mum – and it was beautiful. How great a mum she’d been, how adventurous she was, how she made people laugh.
Barbara had been a midwife before teaching health and social care at secondary school. A lot of her students came to the funeral, leaving flowers and notes of thanks.
The day passed in a whirlwind, and I left lucky to have friends who are always there. I don’t feel abandoned – and I hope the kids feel they still have me.
I’ve lost my wife and,
