Natasha Page is a counsellor, psychotherapist, business coach, writer and founder of My Little Therapy Box. She is amember of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. For more, please visit: bacp.co.uk and natashapagemsc.com
Can I just have fun?
Q I want to have sex, but I’m not interested in dating apps or a relationship. I don’t want other people to judge me or call me a slut. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
A We all deserve the right to feel sexually fulfilled. And it is entirely natural and OK to say you want to have sex. You sound concerned about what others think, but it is your body and your decision.
If you do choose to engage in casual sex with others, the important factor is that you are communicating this with potential partners and that you are having safe sex. Maybe you can also try experimenting more on your own, using masturbation to fulfil your sexual desires.
If you are struggling with commitment issues, seeking support by talking to a therapist may be helpful.
He makes me sick…
Q I’ve stopped finding my husband attractive. Looking at him makes my skin crawl. The idea of having sex makes me feel sick. Can I get the spark back – or is it too late?
A It may be of comfort to know that attraction can come and go based on many differing factors beyond physical appearance.
Many couples who are in longterm relationships report a decline in the sexual attraction they feel toward their partners.
I would be interested to know if you have enjoyed sexual intimacy over the years or if your sexual experiences have not been fulfilling for you in the past. This may make the act of sex feel unrewarding or lacking in pleasure for you.
The good news is that you sound like you would like to get the spark back, and if you are both committed to working on your sexual relationship, then this is a good starting point.
Aside from sexual intimacy, it is important to work on the other areas of intimacy in the relationship.
These are mental intimacy – the act of doing things together, such as a walk or attending a class together. Emo
