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MAFS’ PAUL:
We’re used to seeing him on our screens guiding Married At First Sight contestants through the first few weeks of the experiment, but now Paul Brunson is here to share his relationship advice with you. Whether you are single, dating or in a long-term relationship, Paul has tips for finding love online and diffusing rows, and reveals the habits that are integral to his 22-year marriage…
● TUI BLUE has partnered with relationship expert Paul Brunson to help new couples navigate their first holiday together. Visit tui.co.uk/ thebigbreak to uncover your TUI BLUE itinerary for a harmonious holiday as a new couple. MAFS UK is available on Channel 4 Streaming.
FIGHT FAIRLY
Arguments are always going to happen in relationships, but Paul says agreeing boundaries is really important. He says, “Even people in the happiest relationships have arguments. The good news is that getting angry with your partner is perfectly normal and healthy – when handled correctly. It’s crucial that when conflict arises, you have a safe word that can diffuse the situation. Sit down with your partner and identify what your boundaries are during rows. It could be no name calling, no dismissive looks or no eye rolling.
Then choose a word to associate with these boundaries. Whenever a discussion becomes heated and a boundary is crossed, say that word – the effect being not only will you both immediately stop the wrongful behaviour, but you can also take some time out.” He also says space is very important.
“One of the most detrimental myths is that you should never go to bed on an argument.
Actually, the worst time to resolve an argument is late at night. The best thing to do is to take a breather, then set a time and place to talk and resolve the issue, for example the following morning at breakfast.”
PRIORITISE QUALITY TIME
Paul says that we need to be constantly working on our relationships, not just expect them to go well. He explains, “The truth is that there are no secrets to a happy marriage; happiness within relationships doesn’t occur accidentally.
The happiest couples work at their relationship by building and incorporating habits into their lives to maintain their love. It takes time and effort – there are no shortcuts!” He advises carving out time for each other every day, if you can. He says, “For my wife [Jill] and I, it’s prioritising quality time together. No matter how busy our schedules get, we habitually find moment
