How a bid to walk home for Christmas became a very personal journey for one Country Walking writer and his family.
’APPEN IT’LL BRIGHTEN UP YET. It’s my Dad’s motto. No matter whether we were facing a bit of light mizzle or an all-day hailstorm: the man simply wouldn’t concede that a walk was ever a write-off. There was always something good ahead. The phrase isn’t Dad’s; he pinched it from the comedian Stanley Holloway. In one of Holloway’s monologues, he tells the story of Lancashire timber tradesman Sam Oglethwaite, who is approached by a strange old man by the name of Noah.
Sam asked Noah what was his business
And t’old chap went on to remark
That not liking the look o’ th’ weather,
He were thinking of building an ark.
He’s after some of Sam’s prize maple for said ark, but Sam refuses to sell it for anything less than Three Ha’pence a Foot (which is the title of the monologue). In time, the rains come, and Lancashire begins to flood. But even when Noah’s Ark comes sailing past Sam, who has lashed himself to the top of Blackpool Tower, Sam steadfastly refuses to drop his price. Noah points out that the water is still rising, and wonders if Sam will finally relent. Not a chance.
‘Three ha’pence a foot it’ll cost yer,
And as for me,’ Sam says, ‘Don’t fret.
‘The sky’s took a turn since this morning,
‘And ’appen it’ll brighten up yet.’
It tells you a lot about my Dad that this exhibition of optimism and pig-headedness became his guiding principle. Even Mum adopted it, despite her much lower tolerance for cold and discomfort. I tell you all this to give you the backdrop to my childhood. Mum and Dad became walkers comparatively late in life – in their late forties – but when they did, they adopted it with gusto. And as their later-life baby, I was dragged along. In 1981, living at the time in Sussex, we walked the South Downs Way. I was five.
In 1983, we moved to Cheshire. The Peak District became their target. Then the Yorkshire Dales. Then the Lakes. Then Snowdonia.
We stood on the tops of Scafell Pike, Snowdon, Ben Nevis and Carrauntoohil. We nailed Striding Edge on Helvellyn, Sharp Edge on Blencathra, and Lord’s Rake on Scafell. Later still, they explored the Alps, the Pyrenees and
