Love & relationships
Kate Hamer, 57, from South Wales, shares what happened after her husband, Marc, 66, made a very unexpected proposal
It was coming up for my husband Marc’s 60th birthday and I asked him what he wanted. A nice bottle of whisky, I thought – or perhaps some rare book he’d been holding off buying or, if we were getting super ambitious, perhaps a weekend away.
‘I want to get married again,’ he said. ‘To you.’ (I was glad he cleared that up.)
I thought he was joking, except the look on his face told me he wasn’t. ‘Really?’ I asked. ‘That’s what you really want?’
Big romantic gestures had never been part of our lives. We hadn’t had time for them in the scramble of earning a living and bringing up a family. Besides, money had always been tight. We’d married in a register office 25 years beforehand. It was a low-key affair, but somehow it still didn’t feel like us – perhaps we were not ready for the commitment. Our anniversary was rarely a date we celebrated. I can’t count the times both of us simply forgot.
This felt different. We’d been through huge changes in our lives. I’d become a published author in 2015 with my novel The Girl In The Red Coat. Our children had flown the coop, leaving us to look at our lives again, and Marc had been diagnosed with a heart condition, which can be treated with various degrees of success but not cured. We were ready for a new start, a reassessment of who we were, both as individuals and as a couple. In some ways, remarrying as our ‘new selves’ made perfect sense.
After his ‘proposal’, I remember thinking, ‘We’ve been together for many years. It wasn’t all hearts and roses, but I love him after all this time, and I think he loves me. If we’ve got here, to a place where we both even want to contemplate doing this, that deserves celebrating.’
When and how was the next question. I started looking at local venues and drawing up a guest list, then thought, ‘This doesn’t feel right.’ So, I began organising a wedding that would be just the two of us – a heartfelt commitment and, as it turned out, the start of a new chapter.
I looked at all sorts of options for the ‘birthday present’. Should we wed on a weekend in Venice? In a hot air balloon? At sea? Many things sounded fun, but not quite right. Also, it was important that this time was stress-free as neither of us are natural organisers. So, when I was looking around on the internet and found a company that offered a ‘wee wedding’ on the west coast of Scotland, complete with a cottage, piper, photographer and food, it seemed perfect. Marc was overjoyed – he’d always wanted to wear a kilt (as he has slightly dubious Scottish ancestry)!
We married in November 2016 on a sunny da
