Protecting and caring for loved ones is a privilege – here’s how to make your connections flourish
From marriages to long-standing friendships, all sorts of relationships have been under strain recently because of events out of our control. Whether it’s leftover angst from lockdown or stress around the cost of living crisis, our connections with others have taken a battering lately. According to research, giving more (and having the same reciprocated) goes a long way for our health, with benefits such as lowered blood pressure, reduced stress and a better sense of purpose. So, if a relationship of yours is in trouble, or just needs a kickstart, read on for our best advice.
1 BE NICE, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE TIRED OR STRESSED
When your inbox is flooded, there’s nothing relatively healthy in the fridge and you still need to buy a birthday present for the mother-in-law, stress begins to bubble to the surface, which can make us act out. “It seems obvious but how many of us take our frustrations out on the people we love best simply because they’re there?” Asks Richard Templar, author of the global best-seller The Rules of Everything. “We should be treating them even better than everyone else. It’s understandable to feel flat or low at the end of a long and difficult day – we’ve all been there – but we can still be polite, appreciative and pleasant to be around.”
2 LISTEN PROPERLY
Tricky times in relationships, whether it be romantic or platonic, often come down to feeling misunderstood, neglected or mistreated, as well as how well we know our needs and wants. It’s important to be aware of this fact and consider whether you’re expressing yourself effectively, says Richard. “There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling like people aren’t really paying attention, so be the person your family and friends know will really listen to them,” he suggests.“If they need to get something off their chest, don’t keep interrupting or offering them solutions they haven’t asked for, just give them space to get those emotions out of their system, and to feel they’re being heard and taken seriously.”
3 KNOW HOW TO THANK PEOPLE
Gratitude is a powerful way of showing affection – and celebrates the positives in relationships to bring both sides together. “If someone’s given up their time or put real care into something, say so! For example: ‘that was so delicious! I loved the crumbly texture,’ is far better than a plain ‘thanks’ after a home-baked treat,” notes Richard. “Learn which of your colleagues, friends, family like to be thanked publicly
