Making a u-turn isn’t a bad thing – in fact, it’s good for us to switch things up
WORDS | Victoria Stokes
Change is never easy. It often comes with a whole lot of logistical problems, but perhaps the biggest roadblock to making positive progress in your life – be it changing your ideals, switching careers, or letting go of a relationship that no longer serves you – is the belief that it’s not okay to change your mind.
NEW NORMAL
Along with our daily habits and behaviours, our opinions, lifestyles, and careers can feel rigid or set in stone. Changing how you think and behave can be particularly problematic if you’ve been very open with friends and family about your choices, or have even made a career of sharing this side of yourself online.
Take musician and plus-size icon, Lizzo. When she recently decided to get fit and began sharing workout videos on her social media accounts, many viewed it as a betrayal of her body-positive ideals. Or wellness influencer Rachel Brathan who recently copped some flack on Instagram when she announced she’s no longer vegan.
As the new year rolls in, we often think critically about our lives and how we might like to approach them differently. You might notice certain aspects aren’t working for you anymore and commit to changing them for the better, only to find those around you aren’t quite as supportive as you thought they might be.
FIGHTING THE FEAR
Whether you’re giving up a career your family always wanted for you to pursue an endeavour that’s your true passion, turning your back on some once tightly-held beliefs, or getting a divorce, you might not only encounter some resistance of your own but naysaying from the people who are supposed to care about you most.
Wondering why yourself and others are finding it so difficult to accept change, even when it’s positive progress? Don’t worry, it’s very human to fear change. “At a physiological level, the brain craves familiarity and stability,” explains life coach and hypnotherapist Danny Greeves (thetraumaexpert.co.uk). “As we grow up and develop a stronger sense of self, many behaviours become habitual and we can run on autopilot. This gives us a sense of comfort and security.”
Trying to change our minds about who we are and how we live our lives introduces uncertainty. “It brings with it fear, worry and unpredictability,” Danny points out. Basically? It feels easier and safer to stick with the status quo.
SAFETY IN NUMBERS
As for the people around you who are less than happy about your choices? Often, we put people into metaphorical boxes. We feel safer when we can
