BOOKS
Penn&Kim Holderness
Newsweek _ What made you want to write this book?
Penn Holderness _ You write the book you need. I knew that I needed to write this book when I saw that raising a family added a new level of difficulty to my brain being able to handle multiple tasks at once. I felt myself letting people down around me.
What’s it like parenting a child with ADHD while having it yourself?
P _ It depends on how many things are going on at the same time. When I was first looking after my daughter, I was the stay-at-home dad. And the way that the ADHD brain works is if there’s something that’s new and challenging and you have personal interest [in it], we’re very, very good at that. It’s sort of the central tenet of hyperfocus, this ability to—if you can block everything else out, you can be spectacular at your life.
But sometimes stuff that should be really easy, like listening to your kid when they’re talking about their day and trying to drive at the same time, can be difficult. you never want your kids to think that you don’t care about them. But sometimes I see the disappointment in my kids’ faces when they know that I didn’t get to the end of their sentence.
For someone who does have ADHD, your emotional reaction is probably even more intense.
P _ We ADHDers are really good at being ashamed. Understanding what it is is so important, so you can say, “OK, that wasn’t me, that was my brain.” It’s an explanation. It’s not an excuse. Then once you get past all of that, what’s left is kind of a cool brain.
You have one child with ADHD, one without. It’s hard to manage people with special needs. How do you balance that?
Kim Holderness _ as a partner, he’s a grown man, he has got to make his list, he has to put his systems in place. I can’t do that for him. But I can be supportive. and he can raise the red flag and say, “I’m redlining my executive functioning today.” I got your back.
MASTERING IT Penn’s hyperfocus helped him and Kim win The Amazing Race. Their book is a collaborative effort sharing what they’ve learned about managing ADHD.
As a parent, I do feel more responsible. I have to work with my kid on it. And some days, I feel like I’m failing. Because there is so much repetition required. But now I understand that that brain just sort of requires it. Some days it’s really hard. But the ADHD brain is just pure magic and creativity. Like fireworks and unicorns inside there, it is so much fun. Some days, I’m like, “Thank God these brains are wired this way.”
You present having ADHD with all kinds of funny aspects. How has it benefited your career?
P _ I’ve actually sought out jobs that are ADHD-friendly. I went into working in live news television, where you have deadlines every day. And you’
