IN THE SECOND PART OF HER FEATURE ON HOW TO WORK WITH AN INNER VOICE THAT FEEDS YOU NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, CATHY FERGUSON SETS A QUIZ TO REVEAL HOW SELF-LIMITING YOU ARE
PART TWO
Since part one of this two-part feature, our mailbox has been pinging with questions about how to shut down a negative voice once it has become a habit – including that relentless ‘middle-of-the-night’ version.
In part one we talked about how it helps to take a kinder, softer tone and to stay gently curious about what’s going on in your head. Engage with yourself in the way you would engage with a child who is struggling. With compassion. After all, it’s often your ‘inner child’ that’s at the source of the negative talk.
All habits are hard to break, including allowing our unhelpful thoughts to circle. What we know about habits is that constantly doing battle with them just isn’t sustainable. The best way to make change happen is to start doing something different. Something good and helpful. When you feed this new habit you will find that the old one withers on the vine all by itself.
One habit that shrinks a negative or unhelpful inner voice is to start telling better stories about your own life. Change the narrative by telling a story in which you are empowered to act. A version of reality where you hold the pen and you can write what happens next. Because all reality is subjective. It can be experienced only in relation to our own beliefs and values. We emphasise certain points more than others, leave some things out, and put our own particular spin on things.
The fear is real
Stories work to bring about change because our brains respond in a similar way, whether we are just thinking it or actually doing it. If we have fearful thoughts, the body reacts as if the fear is real. If you are watching sport, the neurons in your motor cortex are activated, as if you were hitting the ball yourself. If someone in a movie has a painful emotional experience, your own emotional network lights up. It’s not just psychology, it’s biology.
The way we narrate our lives – the stories we tell about ourselves, our situation, our options – shapes what we become. The thing is, the way we narrate it is driven by our underlying beliefs. Sometimes those underlying beliefs actually get in the way – but they don’t have to, we can change our beliefs anytime we choose.
As our Planet Mindful Editor, Holly, wrote in the last edition, “change is within our grasp and the only thing holding us back is our self-limiting beliefs”. She’s right. Take our quick quiz on the next page for some instan
