THERAPY
What’s it really like to try…
When you stop worrying about the future or ruminati g on the past, you take the focus away from your proble s and make space for positivity, discovers Claire Cantor
If I were to tell you there is a therapy that barely needs to know what your problems are, nor is it trying to eliminate them; a therapy that doesn’t seek answers by unpicking your past, but is designed to help you take control of the rumination and catastrophising that is often at the root of a downward spiral; a therapy that allows only forward, goal-focused thinking, with no negative talk, and encourages you to dream and visualise your happier future, and aims to sort you out quickly – would you believe me?
I doubt I am alone in that I have tried many therapies over the years. Hoping to overcome and learn to live better with my emotional mixed bag of low self-esteem, amplified critical voice, life-long body issues, and anxiety levels as changeable as the British weather. But then I came across solution-focused therapy (SFT), and I was intrigued; I’m aware of my tendency to be caught up in ruminating negatively about the past or future and listening far too intently to my ‘inner critic’, and SFT seeks to break that cycle. According to Simone Gold, a psychodynamic therapist and student counsellor at Middlesex University, people who benefit most from SFT are those who need a focus to help them feel less stuck, are interested in proactively constructing solutions to immediate concerns or difficulties, and who prefer a time-limited therapy approach. Typical problems that affect her students involve procrastination, social anxiety, boundary-setting, and lack of focus or organisation leading to overwhelm – issues that may just as easily affect us all. Gin Lalli, author of How To Empty Your Stre s Bucket (Tonic Titles, £9.99) is a straight-talki g, solution-focused therapist, whose purpose is to equip her clients with skills for life. ‘The difference between SFT and other therapies is that we don’t examine or analyse the past to fi d fault or place blame. It is about where you are right now, and moving forward to a more posit ve future. A lot of my clients come to me relieved hat they don’t have to go over their often-traumatic past. SFT doesn’t reject the past – rather, it accepts the past, appreciates that the client ha survived it, and then focuses on moving forwa ds.’ All this was resonating with me, so I signed All this was resonating with up for some SFT with Lalli…
In SFT, the fundamental starting point is to outline your ‘best hopes’ or ‘goals’ for the therapy. Lalli is realistic about what can be achieved: ‘I don’t aim to eliminate problems or stress from your life. That’s impossible; I don’t have a magi
