psychologies DOSSIER With you in mind
With self-compassion and kindness, you can tap into true contentment and silence your everyday stressors, discovers Rebecca Frank…
'I doing the best I can and that is enough.’ This is my mantra, which I repeat to myself every morning when I wake up, and whenever ‘Iam something doesn’t go according to plan during my day, or I start to give myself a hard time. Why? Because whenever I speak to experts about how to achieve a calmer and more contented state of mind (and who doesn’t want that?), the subject of self-compassion always comes up. It seems many of us really are our own worst enemies. In fact, neuroscientists say that about 60–75 per cent of our thoughts can be critical in nature.
You know how it goes. I might berate myself for forgetting something or saying the wrong thing, or having failed to meet my own measure of success in some way. Or it might be a response to the way someone else has behaved towards me. ‘What have I done to offend that person?’ demands my self-doubting voice. But, now, my compassionate voice retaliates: ‘They were probably just having their own bad day. And it doesn’t matter if they don’t like me anyway. I’m doing my best, and that is good enough.’ In challenging that negative voice whenever it pipes up, I’m already feeling less stressed and more at peace with who I am and what I can’t change.
So, if your New Year’
