Coaching in action
In their final session together, the award-winning coach Kim Morgan battles with her insecurities, as her client, Marsha* , finds her own solutions
Final session…
Torn between her desire to have a ‘wild and wonderful retirement’ and the needs of her family, Marsha was a client who had been struggling with a decision about whether to provide childcare for her grandchildren. I thought we had achieved a breakthrough in our previous session, when Marsha realised that there could be a ‘win-win’ situation for everyone, so I was looking forward to seeing her again. But, as soon as she arrived, I noticed she looked serious. Marsha squirmed uneasily. ‘Well, I’ve made a decision…’ she said, ‘but I’m not sure it’s the one you wanted me to make.’
Marsha’s comment stopped me in my tracks. My role as a coach is to support people to make their own decisions. Had I somehow pushed my own views or agenda onto Marsha? I couldn’t dwell on this now – I regained my composure and reassured Marsha that if she was happy with her decision, then I was happy too!
She looked relieved. ‘Phew, that’s good. So, I’ve decided to look after my grandchildren full-time. That means every day after school, and in the school holidays, too. It feels like the right choice.’
‘I’m pleased for you,’ I said. ‘What helped you reach your decision?’
‘I saw someone on social media talking about values and cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a feeling of discomfort and unease when you are doing something that is not in line with your values…’ Marsha explained, continuing to tell me all about this topic, which I knew well.
I kept smiling and nodding, but inside I was screaming: ‘So, social media gave Marsha what I didn’t give her! Why hadn’t I looked at values with Marsha before?’ I zoned back into what Marsha was saying. She had completed an exercise about her values and discovered that ‘family’ had come above ‘freedom and adventure’ in her list of core values. ‘I realised that I’d never be happy having a crazy, wild retirement if I hadn’t supported my family to have the life they want. From that moment on, my decision was easy. I start looking after my grandchildren next week.’
I congratulated her: ‘I’m so pleased that you’ve come to a decision that meets your values, Marsha,’ I said.
I was picking up lots of signals from Marsha that she didn’t need anything else from me, although we still had an hour left of our session – but I needed to check my reading of the situation.
‘How would you like to use the rest of the time that we have together?’ I asked.
Marsha looked uncomfortable. ‘Would it be okay if we ended the session now? I’ve made my decision, so I got what I came for, thank
