Once you’ve found your way out of a rut, it’s important to resource yourself with the skills to avoid ending up back there. Here’s how…
‘ O ften when people feel stuck in a rut, it’s because they have lost intentionality with their behaviour or way of living,’ says psychologist Charlotte Russell. ‘They may just be going through the motions, or doing what they need to do to cope. They may have lost connection to what is important, or may not be feeling purposeful in how they are living.’
There are numerous reasons why this happens, as anyone who has ever found themselves in a rut knows. ‘You might have gone through a stressful experience such as a breakup, suffered a bereavement, or lost a job, only to realise that the event has become your main focus,’ Russell explains. ‘And in the aftermath, it can be difficult to find your way back to your previous way of life. People may be pulled in different directions and may not have space and time to really reflect on their current preferences and needs. For some people, life choices may have suited them for a long period of time, but as they reach a new stage in their lives, the same way of living no longer works.’
Cultivating self-awareness is critical for avoiding future ruts. ‘We have to be aware of our own psychological needs and that these can change, and it’s important to begin to notice when we start to feel stuck or disconnected,’ Russell adds.
Reflect on the past
It helps to recognise the ‘early warning signs’ that you’re starting to feel stuck, and the more we look after ourselves, the easier it is to spot these signs. Since they’re different for everyone, Russell recommends spending some time reflecting on times when you have felt stuck in the past – what did you notice about yourself? ‘For many people, this will include a feeling of disconnection, or a sense that something has to change,’ she explains. ‘When you notice what is not right for you, or what is keeping you stuck, be intentional about making changes. Set yourself goals and a plan about how you are going to make these changes, and be clear about why it’s important to you. Try and imagine what the future will look like if you are able to make these changes. It is important to take a compassionate and encouraging approach with yourself, rather than being critical or punishing.’
Practise self-care
Experts all agree that loo
