GUEST SPEAKER
...CAN BE A SOUL-NOURISHING ACT SAYS SARRA MANNING. HERE’S WHY THE FESTIVE PERIOD DOESN’T HAVE TO BE FAMILY-FILLED TO BE PERFECT
The Christmas Industrial Complex begins sometime in early October. That’s when the adverts start, featuring cosy family scenes of multi-generational households clad in matching festive jumpers exchanging beautifully wrapped gifts.
But that is not my Christmas. For the last 10 or so years, I’ve spent Christmas on my own. The first time, it was half circumstance, half very reluctant choice. I didn’t have a partner or children, and my parents are now dead. My favourite family members were in Australia and I’d recently become estranged from my unfavourite family members. Also, I don’t drive and I resented paying ridiculous surging fees for a cab to a friend’s Christmas dinner.
So, I spent Christmas Day solo, feeling like a card-carrying spinster of the parish and fully prepared to have a miserable time. But it turned out to be the most tranquil and indulgent Christmas Day I’d ever had.
It made me re-evaluate past Christmases. There were fond memories of everyone groaning over the cracker jokes and the time the oven broke down with the turkey in it, but also bad vibes that come with a lot of disparate personalities united by accident of birth, gathered in forced proximity. One year, after I’d spent hours in the kitchen with no help, a family member cast an eye over the table, which was groaning with food. I’d even done Brussels sprouts two ways! ‘You didn’t make Yorkshire puddings then?’ was their only comment. This was the same person who, on another occasion, had a screaming meltdown about – I kid you not – a decorative prawn ring from Iceland.
Spending Christmas on my tod suddenly didn’t seem so bad. For some Red readers, this might be the first Christmas or yet another Christmas that you’re spending alone, too, due to bereavement or work commitments, or maybe because it’s your co-parent’s turn to have the children. It could be that you’re dreading it, but I promise you that it can be a day when you thrive rather than just survive.
I’ve lived on my own for 30 years – I always describe myself as an introvert who talks too much – because I need a lot of me-time just to function. I love my please-myself life, so why not create the absolute best version of it at Christmas?
It starts o
