Our Lives
When I got divorced at 40, I realised what was missing from my life. And I was about to make up for lost time.
As I climbed into bed beside my husband, Bill, I heard him mumble: ‘G’night.’
‘Goodnight,’ I sighed, lying back on the pillow in the darkness.
Pretty soon, Bill was asleep. But I had something on my mind.
Sex — or rather, the lack of it. When Bill and I had met in our late 20s, we’d enjoyed a healthy sex life. But over the years, things had changed.
We’d become parents to two sons and co-owned a successful business. But the pressures of day-to-day life meant intimacy took a back seat.
Now, we’d ended up being more like friends than husband and wife.
So, when I was 40, we agreed to divorce.
To my delight, I took to being single rather well.
‘How are you coping?’ a friend asked me one day.
‘Great,’ I told her. ‘I’ve been getting into internet dating! It’s very exciting.’
Online dating was still fairly new, and I enjoyed exploring my options.
Before too long, I started a new relationship with a man called Jake.
He was gorgeous and sexually adventurous. And soon, I discovered just how risqué he was!
One day, he asked me with a smile: ‘Do you fancy coming to a sex sauna swinging event with me?’
‘Er….um…’ I began.
‘Relax,’ Jake said, ‘you’ll enjoy it.’
I’d never done anything like that before, but Jake was so enthusiastic I decided to go for it.
At the sauna, we stripped down to our swimming costumes, then climbed into the pool.
The spa was hot, but through the steam, I locked eyes with a handsome man.
He swam over to me.
‘Tonight, I’m going to sleep with as many people as I can,’ he said.
‘Good for you!’ I replied.
Jake had disappeared into the mist, so the stranger and I made our way up to the top floor and joined the other sweaty, naked couples in the dark room for some fun.
‘How was that?’ Jake asked on our taxi ride home.
‘I can’t believe I just did that,’ I said. ‘It was incredible!’
Thanks to Jake, my eyes had been opened to the world of sexual exploration.
But, two years on, Jake passed away from liver cancer.
It was awful, and I was heartbroken.
In the months afterwards, I struggled to deal with his death. But I realised something.
I’m 47, I thought. I deserve to finally do something for myself.
I considered my experience at the sauna.
When I was growing up, there was almost no sex education, and porn wasn’t readily available.
Women weren’t expected to speak about what they liked in bed.
Why shouldn’t I be open about what I enjoy? I t
