I’d been given a devastating diagnosis, but it made me more determined to grab life with both hands.
Iwas in the shower when a pain in my armpit made me wince. Feeling around the area that was sore, I felt something.
‘I’ve found a lump in my right breast,’ I told my husband Jamie when I got out the shower.
He was a paramedic, and he frowned and said I should get it checked out.
I waited a week to see if it would go away. But when it didn’t, I saw the nurse practitioner at my GP surgery, who referred me to the breast clinic.
I’d thought it would take ages for the results, but after the tests and scans, the doctor sat me down and said: ‘I’m afraid you have breast cancer.’
I went into shock. I was only 36. I had two young boys at home. I couldn’t have cancer.
It was only as I called Jamie afterwards to tell him that I burst into tears.
He rushed home from work to meet me, and we sat our boys Isaac, 11, and Jude, eight, down and said: ‘Mummy’s not well.’
Jamie came with me to my next appointment, and we listened as the doctor explained I had grade two, oestrogen
‘I love you no matter what’
responsive breast cancer. ‘What are her options?’
Jamie asked.
‘We can do a lumpectomy to remove it,’ the doctor replied.
Just two days after my 37th birthday, I had the operation.
But afterwards, the doctor was worried there were cancerous cells in the tissue surrounding where the lump had been.
He was also concerned about the test results from my left breast.
Although I’d been due to start radiotherapy, I talked to my consultant, who helped me come to a tough decision.
‘I want a double mastectomy,’ I said.
The thought of losing both breasts terrified me, but I didn’t want to give the cancer a chance to return.
So a month later, I went back under the knife.
Afterwards, struggling to accept my new body, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.
‘I love you no matter what,’ Jamie told me.
Yet, even after I’d had implants put in, I felt as if I’d lost my femininity.
However, two weeks later, I was told I was cancer-free.
‘We should have a break away to celebrate,’ I said to Jamie.
We booked a trip to Prague. But before we went, I was sent to be tested for the BRCA gene.
While I was there, I showed the doctor a couple of spots I’d noticed on my right breast. ‘You’ll need surgery to remove the tissue and we’ll have it tested,’ he said.
We cancelled our holiday as I went back into hospital.
The BRCA test came back negative, but the doctor had some devastating news about the spots.
‘I’m afraid the cancer has spread,’ he said. ‘It’s now in your liver.’
Jamie
