BY ANGELA HAUPT
EMMA LEMBKE JOINED INSTA-gram when she was 12. The last of her friend group to sign up, she had sensed the appeal of the app in the gazes of friends; people who used to look at her now looked at their phones. “I thought to myself, There has to be something incredibly magnetic and magical and connective that pulls people into these apps,” recalls Lembke, who’s now 21 and founder of a nonprofit dedicated to helping kids use social media in a healthier way.
She soon began spending five or six hours a day mindlessly scrolling—and says her mental health and well-being deteriorated. Lembke recalls quantifying her worth by tracking likes, comments, and followers, and taking down posts that didn’t perform well enough. “It felt as though I was honestly addicted,” she says. “When I heard the buzz of a notification, I had that instant Pavlovian response to grab my phone. I finally asked, What am I doing?”
Many of us get lost in social media. Some data indicate that worldwide, the average adult spends more than 2.5 hours per day immersed in social apps. All that scrolling can take a toll: excessive social media use is linked with loneliness, depressive symptoms, poor self-esteem, and decreased life satisfaction. “A lot of times we’re not even aware of how we’re using it,” says Jacqueline Nesi, a psychologist who studies social media’s role in adolescents’ mental health, “so taking the time to be a little more mindful and to think about what’s working, and what’s not, is really important.”
We asked experts how to reset your relationship with social media. These are their go-to strategies.
1. Craft a mission statement
When Lembke starts to feel overwhelmed by social media, she returns to her “tech intentions” document: a record of the ways she will and will not use the apps. “I use social media to connect with others, to learn new things daily, to scrapbook my life, and to express myself creatively,” it reads. “I do not use social media as a replacement for IRL.” Write your own mission statement,Lembke recommends, and stick it to your desk or wherever you might be tempted to mindlessly scroll.
2. Set specific goals
Pledging to “use social media less” is too vague a resolution to be effective, Nesi says. Instead, set specific goals or boundaries. Maybe you get three 20-minute social media sessions per day. Then, set up systems to make that possible: “Put your phone in a
