WHAT I’VE LEARNED
Actor Maimie McCoy, 43, lives in north London with her daughter Agnes, six
You get what you need, not what you want.
Within a few days, I turned 40, got divorced and I got the job on Van der Valk. I’d been auditioning loads that spring and I wanted other jobs more. With hindsight, as our borders were shutting, it felt immensely liberating to be somewhere else, filming in Amsterdam. I’ve been seduced by the city. It’s brought me love and friendship, and I wouldn’t have had that connection if I’d got one of the other jobs.
There’s a stigma about being shy and introverted.
As a child, I was always hiding behind my mother’s skirt and I never put my hand up. Even at university, I never spoke up. I was always a shy performer, and in my 20s, I’d often question why I was acting because it was so painful.
On one of my early jobs on a film called The Libertine, we were doing a scene and Freddie Jones, who passed away nearly three years ago, stood on a stage, and in a big booming voice screamed ‘boldness be my friend!’
I was so shy on that job, I felt like he was screaming at me. I now see the real value of shyness. I’m more comfortable being the quieter person or the one who can listen. Those skills are immensely valuable.
I discovered resilience when my daughter was diagnosed with achondroplasia – the most common form of dwarfism.
An extra scan picked it up, when I was 30 weeks pregnant. As Agnes’ mother, I have to be on the front foot to answer questions from parents, schools or children, and meet it head on in a way that doesn’t naturally suit me. I’ve got used to people looking at her because she’s different. I’m comfortable with it, but I have to be. I have to present some kind of front. The gift out of that is I’ve been forced to see the world in a totally different light. I’m really thankful for that.
My village of women are my lifeline.
I have a band of girls there for me on a day-to-day basis. They are girls I grew up with and others I’ve picked up along the way. They remember stuff, good and bad, and are mirrors and keepers of all this knowledge, so around them I can reflect
