Find out how intimacy coaches Sarah Rose Bright and partner Graeme Waterfield help couples to have GREAT sex
W hen was the last time you had sex? With many of us feeling exhausted by the daily demands of life, physical intimacy with our partners can easily slip down our priority list. We may not have the drive and desire any more, or perhaps we simply feel we don’t have time.
‘Women often think there’s something wrong with them if they’re not enjoying sex,’ says Sarah Rose Bright. ‘But often it’s because the type of sex they’re having is not enjoyable for them.
‘If you look at sex in the movies, we see people ripping each other’s clothes off and heading towards the “ultimate” goal of orgasm. The pressure is huge, and it can leave couples feeling like they’ve somehow failed. It also means that sex can become very routine and mechanical, like we’re always putting the same coordinates in the satnav and then wondering why we’re feeling bored or there’s no connection.’
Sarah, the first certified sex coach in the UK, has spent 15 years helping people to deepen their intimate relationships and enjoy their sex lives. For the past two years, she has also been working with her partner, Graeme Waterfield, a tai chi, yoga and meditation teacher who runs sexual energy courses for men. Together, they run courses for couples looking to boost their intimacy and sex lives.
‘As a couple working with other couples, we can speak from real experience,’ says Sarah. ‘We share how we negotiate and make space for each other. People sometimes imagine that we’re having amazing sex all the time, but the reality is that, like everyone, we have nights where we just want to sit down with a takeaway and watch Netflix. Just like every other couple, we have to work to prioritise intimate time.’
Here, Sarah shares how to reignite that sexual spark.
Break the taboo
There are so many myths about sex – one being that it should be easy, effortless and spontaneous. Societal pressures mean we often feel like we should show up in the bedroom and be instantly amazing. However, if a band goes to play in London’s O2 arena, they’ve put in hours of rehearsals before that concert. Just like anything else, sex requires learning and practice. We need to actively put time in with our partners in order to improve our sex life.
When Graeme and I work with a couple, we start by identifying all t
