Everyone’s got a point of view - but it seems we’re now more fearful than ever to speak our minds
We’ve all been there – whether it’s bickering about who deserved that Oscar nomination or how to make a martini (with gin, by the way) – but wouldn’t life would be boring if we all had the same opinions? Sports presenter Gary Lineker came under fire recently when he tweeted his views on the government’s immigration plan, which in turn led to him being pulled from Match of the Day for allegedly violating the BBC’s impartiality rules. In solidarity, his co-workers also pulled out. Gary was later reinstated, but does this flashpoint reflect a society incapable of respecting others’ opinions? A majority of Britons (57%) say they’ve now stopped expressing their political or social views for fear of judgement or negative responses from others, according to a study*. We speak to one woman who feels like she’s constantly in trouble for voicing her opinion…
‘NOW I’M SO AWARE OF HOW SENSITIVE PEOPLE ARE’
Lucy Cavendish, 56, is a writer and therapist and lives in Buckinghamshire with her four children.
The other day I was out with my 15-year-old daughter. It was freezing cold and we saw a girl walking down the street wearing a tiny skirt, bare legs and a small crop top. ‘Look at her,’ I said and before I could utter another word, my daughter started raising her voice. ‘What’s wrong with her?’ she said, an accusative tone in her voice. ‘You’re judging her aren’t you?’ That was it. My daughter was off, going on a long rant about how people like me judge girls by what they wear and we should be ashamed of ourselves. Try as I might, I couldn’t get a word in edgeways.
Generation divide
This seems to be standard fare in my house. My four children, aged 26, 20, 18 and 15, obviously think I’m some kind of a 56-year-old dinosaur who doesn’t understand the world has moved into more enlightened times. Whatever I say, I am wrong That’s if I ever get to say anything at all. I am apparently ‘wrong’ most of the time. Even when I ask something innocuous like ‘is your friend a boy or a girl?’ (if they are talking about someone new they’ve met) they get angry. ‘Why are you being so judgemental?’ they say. I still don’t understand why this is judgemental, apparently it’s because I am ‘gendering’ people.
It’s not just my children, though. I work as a therapist and to be honest we are about as right-on as it gets, but even with work colleagues I’ve started to feel nervous. I inadvertently forgot that one of my
