After Harry Styles was caught in a shock embrace, Woman investigates the true meaning of ‘girl code’
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. WORDS: VERONIQUE HAWKSWORTH, TESS STIMSON, SALLY WINDSOR. PHOTOS: GETTY, SHUTTERSTOCK
Following a tricky break-up, there’s no one better to pick you up and wipe away your tears than your friends. But what happens when your best mate begins a relationship with the ex who put you through so much heartbreak?
Model and actor Emily Ratajkowski, 31, was recently caught kissing singer Harry Styles, 29, who is none other than the ex of her friend, actor and director Olivia Wilde, 39. Emily has apparently been ‘begging Olivia for forgiveness’. But it doesn’t look like Olivia is ready to forgive and forget, with a source close to her claiming she sees it as a ‘betrayal’. Dating a friend’s ex is certainly risky territory, and makes you face the question, what is more important to you – a friendship or a relationship? Two women tell us their experiences…
‘IT FELT LIKE SUCH A BETRAYAL’
Tess Stimson, 50, is a freelance writer from Chelsea, London. Four months after I broke up with my fiance James*, I got a phone call from one of my closest friends, Nicki*. She told me James was dating again, and she wanted to be the first to tell me. When I made the decision to split with him, it had been my choice, not his. But James and I had been together for three years, ever since we’d met in our second year at uni, and it hurt more than I’d expected to think of him with someone else.
‘I suppose it had to happen,’ I said bravely, and asked if she knew anything about his new girlfriend. ‘Yes,’ she said. There was a long pause, before she added, ‘It’s me.’
On the face of it, I had no right to object. I’d broken up with James because I’d fallen in love with someone else, and even though that hadn’t worked out, I knew my decision had been the right one. But that didn’t mean it’d been easy. I missed James, and I’d poured my soul out to Nicki. She was the one who’d persuaded me it was a bad idea when I considered going back to James – and now I knew why. She wanted him herself! It felt like such a betrayal. I imagined the two of them together, talking behind my back, while I was left out in the cold. I wanted James to meet someone else, but that didn’t mean I needed it rubbed in my face. And Nicki was in my social circle, so there was no escaping the happy couple. There were so many men she could have dated, why did it have to be my ex? It brought our whole
