SUZIE HAYMAN AND SUSAN QUILLIAM CAN HELP
Help! I’m so clingy with men
Q Recently, I’ve found myself clingy when I get together with a man, wanting to know he’ll stay and we’re going to be ‘forever’. The emotions get much worse once we’ve had full sex, to the point where I’m holding back on that so I don’t cling and drive a partner away. But my latest man has just dumped me because I hesitated over having penetrative sex with him. Now I feel like I can’t win!
SUSAN SAYS
A Put simply, stick to what’s right for you and find a man who’s comfortable with that. Once you’re getting intimate, explain that sex for you is serious and you only want to go the whole way if the relationship is serious. Then wait for a guy who respects your viewpoint and is prepared to wait until you’re ready. He’ll be with the one with whom you can be happy.
Grief is causing friction
Q When my husband died I tried so hard to keep myself together and not burden my son and daughter with my grief. I miss him and I’m finding it even harder to cope because my daughter seems angry with me. She picks arguments and it seems we can’t see each other anymore without it ending in a row.
SUZIE SAYS
Anyone suffering with grief and loss will find themselves passing through various stages, such as numbness and denial, depression and guilt. One of the key stages is anger. But she could also be hurt because hiding your feelings has led to her to think you don’t care what happened. Whatever the reason, you need to talk – to allow her to face and understand her emotions, and to hear how you felt. You were right not to lean on your children, but they now need to realise how much you loved and miss him.
How do I handle a friendship break-up?
Q I have a friend I’ve known since I was married, but recently we’ve disagreed on some key issues. After a lunch date with other people where she kept digging and sniping atme, I’ve not kept in touch. But I can’t stop thinking about what happened. It feels just as hard as a break up.
SUZIE SAYS
A Close friendships are as important to us as romantic relationships, and they can hurt ju
