Changed my life

GOING SOBER

Dragging my feet to the kitchen, I swiped the open bottle from the counter and refilled my wine glass. But before taking a sip, I stopped myself. I couldn’t carry on like this. It was June 2018 and I’d been drinking more than usual since losing my husband Ben to bowel cancer 10 months earlier. During the day I kept busy, staying strong for our girls, Georgina, then five, and Harriet, 23 months, but when they were in bed and I was alone, I’d collapse in a pit of grief, drinking several glasses of wine to numb the pain.

Of course I always felt rubbish the following morning. ‘I’m not going to drink tonight,’ I’d tell myself, but it never worked. Until that evening in June 2018, two months before the first anniversary of Ben’s death.

I asked myself, ‘What would Ben want?’ And I knew he’d tell me to live my life as wholly as possible. So I made a promise to myself to stop drinking once and for all.

STEP BY STEP

Waking up the next morning, dread seeped in. How would I get through the next 24 hours without a drink, let alone forever? I downloaded the I Am Sober app, to keep track of my progress and see how much I was saving. At first I took it one hour at a time too, distracting myself by reading books - anything and everything - and going to bed much earlier than before.

It worked and I found myself going for longer without craving a tipple. In August 2018, I met Ben’s colleagues at the pub on the anniversary of his death, and not having alcohol as a crutch made it really hard. But I got through it, and soon I started to see the benefits. I had more energy, I slept better and had the time and focus to read books to help me through my grief. That’s when I had the idea to start a coaching business, to help others grieving, and in December that year, I set up a grief guidance service called Karen Whybrow Coaching, after training as a life coach. Becoming my own boss boosted my confidence and I started pushing myself more, training to become a hypnotherapist.