‘can we call daddy in heaven?’

Looking across at my husband Hughie, 43, who was sitting next to me, I saw the fear in his eyes and knew he could see it in mine too. We were at an oncology appointment. Hughie had been referred for tests after he’d suffered severe pain in his hip. Fit, healthy and a keen runner, for months we’d put it down to a pulled muscle, but now our worst fears were becoming a reality.

‘Hughie has high-grade giant cell-rich osteosarcoma (GCRO),’ the doctor said. Instinctively, I reached a hand out to hold Hughie’s and desperately tried to keep it together. I’d not long found out I was pregnant with our second child, which made the diagnosis all the more devastating.

I had so many questions and I knew Hughie would be thinking the same things. Would he be able to fight this cancer? Would he get through it? Would he see our second child be born, and see them and our son Rory, then three, grow up?

I knew I had to remain positive but being thrown into the unknown is terrifying. We both remained strong until we got home, but then we broke down, holding each other as we sobbed.

In August 2020, two months after his diagnosis, Hughie started six rounds of chemo, which finished that December. It caused low immunity, which meant he couldn’t come with me to the baby scans. He tried to keep busy, reading books and listening to podcasts, and in January 2021, he was with me when our son Rafferty was born. ‘He’s our silver lining, our ray of light,’ Hughie smiled, holding him in his arms. ‘I’m so proud.’

For an all-too brief time we allowed ourselves to forget about cancer and enjoy being with the boys. But within four months Hughie was in pain in his hip again – the cancer had returned.

DEVASTATING NEWS

In the summer of 2021 surgeons operated again, he had more chemo and doctors were confident he was cancer free. Spending time with the boys was our priority and we enjoyed trips to Devon and Hughie played football in the garden with Rory, using his crutches to whack the ball.

But it was like a cycle we couldn’t escape
- just months on, in February 2022, Hughie had more pain and was admitted back into hospital for more scans and tests.

One Friday evening, while Hughie was still in hospital, and as a huge storm raged outside, the consultant phoned. ‘Th