Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 32 years
ANITA NAIK
We bicker constantly!
Q After bringing up three kids and working, my husband is now retired. We are in our early 60s, with our kids living away. We love each other but bicker all the time. My husband has had no interests or hobbies since leaving his job so he relies on me for company. By contrast, I have interests and used to swim with friends regularly, but now I feel obliged to stay at home.
A Couples often end up bickering due to too much time together. Three things will help. One, cultivate some common interests that get you both out of the house with others, like a gym or walking group; two, talk to your husband about taking responsibility for making a new life for himself; three, don’t make your life smaller to accommodate him. It will only lead to more conflict.
I’M AN OUTSIDER
Q I work with women who are a good 10 to 15 years younger than me. They’re lovely, but I have nothing to offer when they start talking or ask me out. I don’t know what they are talking about when they discuss music or TV, and I am so far away from dating that I say nothing. I feel like an outsider. What can I do to fit in?
AIt’s not your colleagues making you feel like an outsider but your own reluctance to join in. By standing back, you are giving them uninterested signs. So try joining in; it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what they are talking about – the k
