Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 32 years
ANITA NAIK
He keeps secrets from me
Q My partner has been omitting stuff about his past. I found out he has a child with an ex, who is now 17. He’s never seen him and doesn’t pay towards him, but I still feel it’s odd he’s never said anything. He has debts from another relationship and his ex wants to take him to court. Again, he only let on a few months back. We’ve been together for five years. When I ask, he acts as if I am prying into his life.
A You’re right to feel uneasy. These omissions are important and could impact you further down the line. Plus, as part of an established relationship, asking questions about his past isn’t prying. Strangely, as you’re discovering, it’s not the truths that are eroding your trust but his behaviour. Explain you understand his need for privacy but you need him to be more honest with you.
SHE’S A HOARDER
Q My ex-mother-in-law is 78 years old and a hoarder. When I saw her last, she couldn’t open the door because piles of clothes and books blocked the hallway, and she wouldn’t let me in. Her neighbours say her house is a disaster and she sleeps downstairs due to the clutter. My ex has no contact with her. What should I do?
A You’re right to be worried about her. The Care Act guidance formally recognises hoarding as a category of abuse and neglect, which means that adult care social workers can help here. Contact Age
