Five years ago, six months after joining Women’s Health, I started noticing changes in myself, both physically and mentally. The first thing I noticed was sore breasts – the type of soreness you get when you’re pregnant (I wasn’t). The soreness persisted, fluctuating in intensity throughout the month, but always present. Meanwhile, my mood was becoming increasingly unstable; I’d be anxious one minute, depressed the next. And my memory began to fail me. In meetings, I’d struggle to recall simple words.
I was completely baffled by what was happening to me. It was a friend, who happens to be a doctor, who said she thought I was perimenopausal. I’d never heard of the phrase. Besides, I assumed I was years away from the menopause. Then the hot flushes started. I’d regularly wake up in a bed sodden with sweat. I remember one morning in particular when, sitting on the train for my commute, the familiar hotness started in my hands and spread up to my chest; soon, sweat was dripping down my back as I fought the nausea washing over me.
I realised I needed help, but I was refused HRT (hormone replacement therapy). I was told I was ‘too young’ to be perimenopausal and I should ‘come back in five years’. Exasperated, I soldiered on for another 12 months – ayear during which I experienced periods of worrying depression – until I met Louise Newson, a GP and menopause specialist. She prescribed me HRT privately, and, while it took some time to get the dose correct, the improvements in my quality of life were obvious.
I’ve taken HRT ever since. But lately, it has become increasingly hard to come by. The national shortage has meant I’ve had to ration my oestrogen and change the type I use, moving from a gel to a spray. I figure I’ve got enough for about two weeks before I run out. I’m terrified I might revert back to how I was several years ago. Hot flushes are bad enough, but it’s the low mood that worries me the most; the impact on my life would be huge.
I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. As we mark World Menopause Month, we hear from one woman who views her
