We bet you know a thing or two about physical fitness. But what of exercise’s sister science? From improving your emotional intelligence to revving your resilience, this is a workout for your mind
You’ve shattered your PBs, fine-tuned your nutrition and finally unlocked an evening routine that delivers seven hours’ unbroken sleep. But how do you become the person you aspire to be on the inside? The woman who can power through a break-up, disappoint a close friend without shame-spiralling and get what she needs from an infantile colleague without snapping like an angry parent. Enter: mental fitness. The awkward and sometimes painful work that you can’t track with an app. Spending time on a hearty mental-fitness practice can create more long-term benefits for your mind and body than virtually anything else you do. And we’re not talking about meditation. We spoke to experts who either train people to become mentally fit or study mental health for a living to find out what it takes to forge mental strength, and they all spoke of three things: emotional intelligence, vulnerability and resilience. Working on each of these pillars, using the strategies here, gifts you the mental equivalent of what strength, cardio and mobility training do for your body. Your training starts here.
01 Fine-tune your emotional intelligence
No eye-rolls, please. At its core, emotional intelligence is about understanding yourself better (and other people, too) by recognising how you really feel
The skill of emotional
intelligence lies in the ability to identify your emotions and understand how you’re responding to them – and doing it without judging yourself, says Susan David, psychologist, Harvard Medical School lecturer and author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, And Thrive In Work And Life. At its best, emotional intelligence – aka EQ or ‘emotional quotient’ – might look like this: over dinner, your partner makes a remark about wanting to grab your love handles. They were trying to be playful, but you notice your body is tingling; you know that means you’re feeling ashamed, which makes you angry. You know it’s because you were fat-shamed as a child. You remember that your partner has similar issues and might be projecting their shame on to you. Having speed-processed the data, you explain your feelings – they apologise. Same scenario, minus the EQ? Partner makes remark. You go silent, tell them it’s rude to deliver a low blow, as you never bring up their cankles. No one apologises. You sleep apart, go a month without sex and never talk about it – until the next flare-up. Notice how it starts with paying attention to what’s going on and accepting that your feelings aren’t good or bad? Building EQ helps you relate to others better; you develop empathy and the ability to listen w
