40 unread messages from your friends? Friendship fatigue is a real thing, but luckily, there are ways we can navigate it
WORDS | Stacey Carter
Our friendships can be one of the biggest sources of joy in our lives, but, just like our romantic relationships, they can sometimes have their trials. Data from the friendship app Peanut found that 76 percent of women surveyed said that their number of close friends has gone down in the past year. If you’re struggling to respond to messages, arrange meet-ups and answer phone calls, then you could be suffering from what experts term as ‘friendship fatigue’ – meaning that while you want to maintain your friendship, you feel too emotionally burnt out and tired to give them the energy they require. Thankfully, there are ways we can avoid feeling emotionally drained by our interactions, according to the experts.
PLATONIC PITFALLS
Determining why you’re experiencing friendship fatigue means you’ll need to take a moment to think about your friendship. Is your friendship draining you, or do you have a lot going on at work and home this month? When we feel fatigued by friendships, this can be because of either one or two of these things, explains psychologist Dr Elena Touroni (thechelseapsychologyclinic.com). “From my understanding, friendship fatigue refers to the stress that happens when your friendships are very one-sided, and you’re carrying all the emotional weight, or you are simply over-socialising and not taking enough time for yourself.” It can be easier to spot signs that our romantic relationship is on the rocks, but if there is a breakdown in boundaries or communication with a friend, this can sometimes feel much harder to navigate, as Dr Touroni explains:
“The signs that a friendship might not be serving you include: • Feeling drained after spending time with a particular friend.
• Feeling alone despite spending time with friends (this is a sign you don’t feel seen, heard or understood by the people you are spending time with).
“If any of these resonate, then it’s time to set boundaries with your friend or decide whether this friendship is worth continuing,” says Dr Touroni. Just like with our romantic relationships, we need to have check-ins with our friendships to decide whether we’d like to keep things the way they are or change things up. Having these conversations can be hard, but doing so can strengthen your bond and lead to happier relationships with improved communication.
INTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS
The other side of friendship fatigue is a little more complex. While it’s true that
