Messed up and feeling bad? Remember, nobody’s perfect – and learning to forgive yourself is essential for your wellbeing
WORDS: KATHLEEN NORTH PHOTOS: GETTY
We all make mistakes, whether that’s a parenting fail, upsetting a friend or saying hurtful things during a break-up. But when things don’t go to plan, do you dwell on your guilt and replay the error in your mind? If so, you’re not alone.
“In today’s society, we often feel pressure to be ‘perfect’,” explains hypnotherapist Rebecca Barr, founder of The Femalepreneur Coach. “We can be our harshest critics when we don’t meet our own impossible standards.”
But holding on to feelings of judgement, resentfulness or self-criticism can be more damaging to our wellbeing than we realise.
“Forgiving yourself is actually an act of self-care,” explains Rebecca. “It releases the negative emotions attached to the situation and allows you to live in alignment with your values, so you can be the person you want to be.”
US actress Kaley Cuoco, 38, who starred in The Big Bang Theory, is among the famous faces who have opened up about the power of self-forgiveness.
“My therapist and I are working on forgiving myself for making mistakes,” she said. “That’s been the hardest thing… accepting that I’m normal and I’m not superwoman.”
Likewise, Drew Barrymore, 48, talked about self-forgiveness on the podcast The Shop. The actress, who starred in ET aged seven, struggled with drugs in her early teens and was emancipated from her parents by the courts, becoming a legal adult when she was only 14. “I beat the [expletive] out of myself about everything. I had to be my own parent and God, I’m so hard on myself. Ridiculously, painfully, unbelievably hard on myself,” she said. “But I’m finally on the other side of that.”
Here, we look at the different ways we can be more forgiving to ourselves...
To find out about Rebecca, visit thefemalepreneurcoach.co.uk
1 OWN IT
We often pass the buck when we make mistakes, but taking responsibility for your actions can help you move forward. “It’s easy to fall into the blame trap, but if you do that, you’re essentially giving away your power,” says Rebecca. “If you’re going to forgive yourself, it’s important you acknowledge and accept the part you’ve played in a situation.”
2 FIND YOUR WHY
We behave the way we do for a reason and if we take a wrong turn, it’s helpful to
