BY ANGELA HAUPT
IT MIGHT SOUND OBVIOUS, IN THE midst of a loneliness crisis, that having friends matters. But many of us “underestimate the very real impact our friendships can have on our life,” says Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. “Connection is the most important factor predicting our health, both physical and mental.”
A growing body of research supports that point: Healthy, stable friendships can protect against depression and anxiety, increase life satisfaction, extend longevity, and improve health metrics like blood pressure and body mass index. Those who don’t have strong social connections, meanwhile, have an elevated risk of heart disease and stroke, Type 2 diabetes, addiction, and dementia. While many people assume it’s the number of friends that counts, research indicates that quality is more important—and having even a small selection of close friends is a stronger predictor of happiness than having lots of casual connections.
Yet often people who feel disconnected focus on making new friends instead of nurturing existing connections. “There can be this feeling of ‘I need to look elsewhere. I need to start a whole new circle of friends,’” says Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist who studies the science of friendship. “For many people, it’s helpful to think about the friendships we already have in our lives. Even if they feel a little stale, there are ways we can revive them.”
We asked experts to share their favorite ways to strengthen friendships and breathe new life into old bonds.
1. Consistently invest time
Making time for the people we care about and having shared experiences play an essential role in deepening friendships. Research suggests that it takes about 50 hours of time together to transform from acquaintances to casual friends, 90 hours to become regular friends, and more than 200 hours to solidify a best friendship. If you find you’re continually dropping the ball on putting in time and effort with your friends, add a section for connection to your daily to-do list, advises Laura Tremaine, author of The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs.
2. Add more positivity
One way to grow any relationship is to foster positivity, says Shasta Nelson, author of books including Friendships Don’t Just Happen. “It’s not always about
