SUZIE HAYMAN AND SUSAN QUILLIAM CAN HELP
He doesn’t support me
Q I admire my partner’s career success, and he’s right to be proud of himself, but when I have work issues he just doesn’t seem to get it. My new boss has a downer on me and I feel bullied, but my man keeps telling me to pull myself together. We’ve only been partners for a year and I haven’t yet worked out how to get him to sympathise.
SUSAN SAYS
A The first possibility is that your man is so successful at work that he just can’t identify with your difficulties. The second, more worrying possibility, is that he’s an unsympathetic person who, even after a year together, can’t support you emotionally. The first possibility is solvable if you explain your needs more fully so he really understands. But the second possibility means that long term this probably isn’t a relationship that’s right for you.
I’m tempted to include my son’s ex
Q My son and I have never seen eye to eye. Our relationship worsened when he was a teenager and his dad and I split up. A few years ago he met and married the nicest girl and we hit it off. Sadly, they recently divorced and it’s because he was having countless affairs (like his dad). I’m about to write a new will and I’m tempted, since I still see her, to split what I would leave him in two and leave half to her.
SUZIE SAYS
A You feel she’s family, like a daughter. But by the time you die you may both have moved on. Don’t do it. Using a will to make a point is an irrevocable act. Tell him how angry and disappointed you are and why. You may find an honest discussion brings you together. Rather than splitting his share 50/50, you could always leave his ex a little something.
I’m not sure whether my sons will understand
Q We’ve had years of lovely holidays with our two sons. Once they had finished education, we tended to go in September to avoid school holiday premium costs, but we are about to retire and realise we won’t be able to pick up the costs of their travel and board as we always have. They have good jobs, but how do we break it to them?
SUZIE SAYS
A Simply say ‘Hey boys, we’re about to retire and won’t have the cash we once did. We’d love you to come on holiday but you’ll ha
